Finding Jewish
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Building A
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Raising
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The Magic
Of Shabbat

Starting Your
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Hannukah

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Shavuot

Tikun Olam

On the seventh day, heaven and earth were complete; and God rested [shabbat] on the seventh day from all creating…and God blessed the seventh day and made it holy [kadosh]…

by Rabbi Vivian Schirn Congregation Or Hadash

This line from the first story in the first book of the Torah, the famous seven-day creation story, introduced an entirely new concept to the world. God’s need to rest, to step back, to appreciate creation on the seventh day, changed forever the nature of time on that day: time on the seventh day was called holy. All religions have holy places and holy things—none had holy time!

The Hebrew word for holy, "kadosh" literally means "set aside." When the idea first appears in the Torah, it refers to a period of time that will be set aside, it will be made different from "regular" time. In the Jewish tradition, this time is known as Shabbat, from the Hebrew verb "to rest," to cease from work.

Throughout Jewish history, Jewish law and lore stories have arisen which emphasize the importance of shabbat, the crowning jewel of Jewish life. It is the day of the week to cease from secular labors and from the stresses, anxieties and pressures of the world. Shabbat has meant a reprieve from the world, it is time for reconnection with ourselves as individuals, with friends and families, with the nature around us and with God.

"Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy." This fourth of the ten commandments is found twice in the Torah, indicating that while Jewish tradition has always seen Shabbat as necessary, observing Shabbat does not come naturally. People must be reminded. It takes a decision and an effort to, as many say, "make" Shabbat. Our tendency is to continue with the momentum of the week—going to the office, using the computer, fax and telephone, and shopping. Left to our own devices, Shabbat would not automatically be part of what we do. "Making Shabbat" is a decision which can add meaning and depth to the rest of life.

Use this guide to plan your family Shabbat Dinner and your Shabbat observance.

Setting aside time to take a break from our busy lives is what Shabbat is all about. While there are many ways Jews celebrate Shabbat, what is most important is making a decision to carve out a block of time on Friday night and Saturday in which to create a personal Shabbat Tradition which is comfortable and meaningful for you those around you.

For some households, a dinner where the entire family sits together represents a significant change of pace. It is also a wonderful place to begin to celebrate Shabbat. Begin by introducing one or two rituals to your family meal—such as candle lighting, Kiddush, or challah. Add more as you wish.

While the Shabbat dinner has traditionally been a time to enjoy favorite "Jewish" foods—gefilte fish, chicken soup, kugel—today many families prepare food that everyone enjoys.

To make Friday night dinner special, try inviting friends, using a special tablecloth and dishes, or putting flowers on the table. Each of these simple acts symbolically changes the rhythm of the week. If you generally eat in the kitchen, consider eating in the dining room.

Ritual objects are a wonderful way to create Jewish family memories. While you may use objects which you already have at home, consider purchasing or designating special objects to be used only for Shabbat and Holidays. For Shabbat dinner, those objects are:

• Candlesticks
• Challah cover (a cloth to cover the bread)
• Kiddush cup (a special wine glass)

Each ritual object is associated with a beracha (literally bles-sing) which is traditionally recited at the Shabbat table. Think of a beracha as a way to making the ordinary special. We take a moment to acknowledge, to appreciate and to thank God for the wonders around us.

Shabbat is ushered in by candle lighting. While traditionally Shabbat candles are lit before sunset on Friday, many families today wait until just before Shabbat dinner, so that the entire family and guests can be present. Lighting candles is a wonderful way to begin enjoying the magic of Shabbat: the glow of the Shabbat candles creates a special atmosphere of peace and tranquility that sets the stage for the rest of the evening.

How to: Place two candles in your Shabbat (or other favorite) candlesticks and set them in a location where they can be seen. Traditionally candles are lit as follows: light the candles, then make three inward circles of both hands over the flames, symbolically bringing in the spirit of Shabbat, then cover your eyes as all present recite the following blessing:

Baruch attah Adonai eloheinu melekh ha-olam asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav vitziivanu l’hadlik ner shel Shabbat.
Praised are You, Adonai, Our God, Sovereign of the Universe, who makes us holy through mitvot, and commands us to light Shabbat candles.

Spend a few moments around the burning candles sharing thoughts about the past week, singing traditional or familiar songs, and wishing each other the traditional greeting "Shabbat Shalom" (Sabbath Peace) or "Gut Shabbos".

The Kiddush is the blessing over the wine. Wine is a symbol of joy , happiness and luxury, all of which characterize Shabbat. The words of the Kiddush, literally "sanctification", speak of shabbat as a reminder of two significant events: God’s rest at the completion of creation, and God’s redeeming the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt. While standing, recite the Kiddush and lift the cup of wine for the blessing:

Barukh atah Adonai eloheinu melekh ha-olam borai p’ri ha-gafen.
Blessed are you Adonai our God, Sovereign of the Universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine.

Shabbat is time for reconnection with ourselves as individuals, with friends and families

While we often feel loving thoughts for our children, we don’t always express them out loud. Standing and reciting a blessing over your children is a beautiful Shabbat tradition that can create lifelong memories. Some parents and grandparents compose their own blessings for their children, acknowledging something they did that week or affirming a child’s special gifts. The traditional blessings are as follows:

For girls:

Y’simeikh Elohim k’Sara Rivka Rakhel V’Leah.
May God make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah.

For boys:

Y’simeikh Elohim k’Ephraim v’khi Menashe.
May God make you like Ephraim and Menasseh.

For all children:

Yevarechecha Adonai veyishmeracha. Yaer Adonai panav elecha vichuneka. Yisa Adonai panav elecha veyasem lecha shalom.
May God bless you and keep you. May God cause divine light to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. May God turn the divine spirit unto you and g ive you peace.

As a matter of cleanliness, we normally wash our hands before we eat. Consider adopting a second washing just before eating bread. This traditional, symbolic washing does not make our hands cleaner; rather, it helps to transform the Shabbat meal into a holy, spiritual event. This washing is done by pouring water from a pitcher over one hand and then the other (generally over a sink or a basin!). The following blessing is recited:

Barukh atah Adonai eloheinu melekh ha-olam asher kidshanu b’mitzvotaav v’tzivanu al nitilat yadayim.
Praised are You, Adonai, our God, Sovereign of the universe, who makes us holy through mitzvot and commands us to wash hands.

In Jewish history, challah symbolizes the manna, the special food which God provided the Israelites during their years of wandering in the desert.

Beginning the actual eating of the meal with challah, a special bread, reinforces the different character of this day. Challah, a braided loaf of bread, is generally available in most bakeries and supermarkets. Traditionally, the challah stays covered until it is time to say the beracha. When you are ready, uncover the challah and say:

Barukh attah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha-olam, ha-motzi lehem min ha-aretz.
Praised are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who causes bread to come from the earth.

After reciting the Motzi, pass the challah around so everyone can tear off a piece. There are many different family traditions, such as salting the challah, slicing or tearing it, passing it around the table according to childrens’ ages, etc. (Why not create your own family tradition?) After everyone has tasted the challah, the Shabbat meal begins.

You have set the table, gathered the family and prepared a special meal—you want the experience to last. Try to create your own Shabbat table rituals:

• Each week have a different family member tell a Shabbat story, share thoughts or a prayer.

• Choose a theme for your dinner. Everyone prepares something around the theme.

• Children love participating in discussions. If you’re not sure what to discuss, try beginning with a sentence to complete, such as, "I feel proud that I…," or "One good thing that happened to me this week was…"

• Z’mirot—Shabbat Songs: Singing out loud can be a great icebreaker. It can help make the transition from the everyday routine into the Shabbat ritual. Try to learn one song at a time and slowly build up a repertoire of favorites..."Bim Bam" and "U’faratztah" are favorites among young children.

According to Jewish law and tradition, Shabbat lasts from sundown of Friday to sundown on Saturday. While you might not be ready for a full-day Shabbat observance, consider some of the traditional and not-so-traditional ways of making the day special.

• Attend a Shabbat service at a local synagogue. Most synagogues have services on Friday night and on Saturday morning. Many have special family services scheduled. You do not need to be a member to attend, and you can try different synagogues as often as you like. Call your local synagogue for more information.

• Schedule a family activity—a walk, a game-time, or an outing. It can last for an hour or a day.

• Use Shabbat as a time to have family discussions.

• Invite friends and relatives over during the day.

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Shabbat—a time of peace, reflection and family togetherness
by Rabbi Elliot Holin, Congregation Kol Ami

Do you remember the moment your child arrived in the world? Life changed as you knew it and uninterrupted sleep and the pleasure of reading books or favorite magazines became a memory. But the trade-offs were unparalleled. Your son or daughter cooed with delight, screamed, demanded, looked at you and the world with wide, innocent eyes and enabled you to marvel at the miracle of life in every sound and motion.

As miraculous as the moment of birth, so too is the instantaneous bonding between parent and child. A parent’s radar instantly identifies the child’s location and deciphers the message conveyed by the tone of the cry. Infants, experiencing what one theologian defines as the first stage of faith, are able to depend upon a parent and instinctively know that their cry will quickly bring the presence of a mother or father.

"Stealing" Time

Life changes dramatically when children arrive, but some of it necessarily stays the same. Professional responsibilities still await us, although the topography of our offices changes. We replace the diplomas and awards with photographs of the evolving newborn. But there are still meetings to attend, presentations to make, people to meet, errands to run, shopping to do.

Life goes on and at home, it grows. I remember times at my desk, on the phone, in transit from one meeting to another…leading me away from home or tantalizingly close to it, when I felt as if I were stealing time from my son. Now, with three children, Jonathan is 6 1/2, David just turned 5, Joshua 2—I’ve discovered a better balance in life for me, my wife and our children.

Finding a Balance

That balance is called "Shabbat" and through it we’ve found a wonderful way to fulfill our contemporary needs and to experience sacred time. When I am home with my family on Friday evenings, we have time to truly enjoy each other’s company in the glow of the Shabbat candles, without the constant constraint of time telling me to be elsewhere. The five of us hold hands as we say blessings over candles, wine and challah, and for one another. We talk about the week that was and our hopes for the week to come. The boys aren’t thinking about running upstairs to watch television, my wife isn’t distracted by work, nor am I getting ready to run out to my car. This night is our one extended evening of the week to truly be together, when our only commitment is to be with each other. Family is the focus.

When I am at services on Friday nights with members of my congregation, I know that on Saturdays I’ll be spending the day with my boys. I have the wonderful opportunity to see my children grow up, and not just hear about it from my wife, the boys’ coaches, or simply see their milestones on videotape. Every Shabbat—with my family and my congregation—is a time of renewal and the discovery of precious relationships.

This night…our only commitment is to be with each other

I’ve been fortunate, and driven, to discover this necessary balance in my life. I’m blessed that I have the support of people who appreciate the significance of this quest. Many people today seek to define a better balance between home and office, between family responsibilities and fiscal necessities. It is not always easy to do so, and I constantly marvel at single parent families who strive to achieve this balance. Scholar and philosopher Abraham Joshua Heschel alludes to this quest for wholeness, the way that we resolve competing demands while remaining true to our values and loyal to our family: "There is a realm of time where the goal is not to have but to be, not to own but to give, not to control, but to share, not to subdue, but to be in accord."

Recreating the Awe

Jewish mystics suggest that the flames of the Shabbat candles reflect the divine sparks in each of us—the desire to connect and the drive to love. The Shabbat is a sanctified measure of time in which we can reclaim what we so often lose during the hectic week. Our weekday activities often lead us to define ourselves by what we do rather than who we are. When we sit down as a family over a Shabbat meal, or spend part of the Shabbat on the playing field with sons or daughters, we rekindle the awe we experienced at the birth of our children—in the blessing over the candles or with the sweet smell of freshly cut crass on which our children run. We make the time "to be…to give…to share…to be in accord" in blessed space and time.

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Why We Pray

By Rabbi David Ackerman,Congregation Tiferet Beth Israel

W hy do we pray? This is a question with which I continuously struggle. For me, prayer is anything but simple. Pinchas Peli, a renowned scholar on the subject of prayer, explores many needs prayer fills for us. As a rabbinical student in Jerusalem, I had the opportunity to spend Shabbat with Peli, who challenged us as future rabbis to do more than simply learn the words and melodies of the prayer book. Peli encouraged us to look inward to examine and articulate the underlying rationales for prayer. I realized then that knowing the words and the music to prayers is only the outer shell; the way to take hold of the fruit within is to examine our sense of purpose. Ever since that Shabbat in Israel, I’ve been grappling with Peli’s challenge.

In his writing, Peli defines the many spiritual and psychological needs prayer fulfills. Concepts of amazement, thankfulness, dependence, and loneliness. are especially meaningful to me because they include a social component. As human beings, we seek to understand ourselves and our experience in relation to others—a realization that each of us exists in the context of a larger world around us.

Amazement

Although many people associate prayer with words, praying can also mean adopting an attitude or feeling an emotion. Sometimes prayer is expressed by a sense of wonder or awe about the majesty and grandeur of the universe. Theologian Abraham Heschel coined this concept "radical amazement."

The easiest way to understand this motivation is to conjure up the feeling that sweeps over us when we watch the sunrise, gaze at the Grand Canyon or contemplate the steadiness of the ocean’s waves as they reach the beach. But nature is not the only source of worder. Last month I was lucky enough to see the Vermeer exhibit at the National Gallery in Washington and more than once was I filled with a similar sense of amazement.

We also feel awe in our interactions with one another. A moment of human experience can overwhelm us with radical amazement. On those occasions, the word "wow" articulates an entire feeling, or even a prayer.

Thankfulness

As the father of a three-year-old, I spend more time than I ever imagined with Raffi, a popular children’s songwriter. One of his songs continously runs in my head. "Thanks a lot," it begins, and then provides a list of things for which to be thankful. "Thanks for the stars in the sky," runs one item on Raffi’s list.

The beginning of Jewish prayer is learning to appreciate each other

Giving thanks is one of the primary modes of Jewish prayer. We thank God for "keeping us in life," as the words of the sheheheyanu put it. But if expressing gratitude to God feels too abstract, thanking others is another way to begin. The Shabbat table is a great place to start. I believe that the beginning of Jewish prayer is about learning to appreciate each other. Start by saying "thank you" to the people closest to you. Big things are bound to follow.

Inter-Dependence

Even though, as Americans, we uphold the concept of rugged individualism we are more inter-dependent than we realize. But our daily experience highlights the fact that for most people, leaning on others is the norm—not the exception. In the immortal words of the Rolling Stones, "Well, we all need someone who we can lean on, and if you want to, well you can lean on me."

Nowhere is the need for others more clear than in the context of our families. Through Shabbat, our tradition offers a brilliant way for our families to celebrate our interdependence. Gathering together on Friday nights for Kiddush and a Shabbat meal responds precisely to this need. Recognizing our need for others, particularly those closest to us, can move us to join together in fellowship and prayer as part of "making Shabbat" with our families.

Community

In Hebrew, the verb to pray—l’hitpallel—literally means to reflect on one’s life, but it also directs us to reach out to others. The Jewish tradition encourages people to pray as part of a community—at baby namings, weddings, or in a minyan (forum of ten people). Joining together to welcome Shabbat and celebrate at the Shabbat table is a powerful and simple antidote to the loneliness we sometimes face. The song "Shalom Aleichem," "Peace Be with You," long a traditional Jewish greeting, represents a way to give blessing and to connect with others.

Shabbat Shalom and Shalom Aleichem to you and your family!

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